INSTAGRAM WEIRDS ME OUT

INSTAGRAM WEIRDS ME OUT

INSTAGRAM weirds me out. It really does. I do not get it. I love it. I hate it. I love it. I hate it. I do not understand it, maybe I don't want to. I love it.

I love that it is full of creative loveliness and creativity. I love that there are lots of people on it that I have followed for ages, that have followed me, and peeps who have become friends. There are people who have been part of my Instagram community for years now.

I love looking around me, snapping away and getting lovely images  and framing the world in this crazy kind of square frame manner, knowing I am doing it to share on Insta.

I love the challenge of coming up with images for prompts, faffing with props, and editing. Gosh I LOVE editing. It amazes me how some cropping and faffing makes images POP. It's fab.

BUT...

Then there is the other side that weirds me out, upsets me, makes me anxious, makes me feel BLAH, makes me just NOT UNDERSTAND.

We have all heard the quote

"comparison is the thief of joy"... 

and that we should NEVER compare ourselves to others. I hear it, I understand it... but sheesh, I still do it. 

Yep, I could lie, I could pretend, I probably should. But the truth is, when I see peeps that started on Instagram at the same time as me, dear lovely wonderful clever friends, and they have 5789 gazillion K followers... and I am still on the starting blocks. Well, it just kills me (a little bit). I go a shade of green that is certainly unflattering and a bit embarrassing to admit. 

First world problems... and totally realising I am ridiculous, BUT I really do feel it, and have at times questioned why my numbers are shit, and maybe my feed is shit, my pictures are shit, my ideas are shit, and why am I bothering? Silly me. 

PLEASE...

I don't want sympathy, empathy, or anyone saying "There there poor you". Conversely, I don't need analysis as to WHY this is so, what I can do to remedy those numbers. Or anyone saying how silly I am. I know that already! Let's just leave it at that. It is what it is. Some days I care about it, others I do not... maybe depending on when I last ate, how much sleep I have had, and where my hormones are at.

Then there's something else that weirds me out. You know when you post a picture that you really really like, and you think "This one will do well, I am sure..."

but it gets no great reaction. It is lukewarm at best, and you just go WHAT THE!? 

And then I post something that took 3 seconds, barely any thought, and it gets LOTS OF LIKES! WTF!?

Baffles me. Frustrates me. Amuses me. 

Then there is the changing algorithms. And the unfollows. And the new way that hashtags work. And the way that I am supposed to 'work it' to get more followers and comments. GAH! This makes it more like hard work and less fun. I get emails telling me how to 'build my community and get more likes'. I read them and roll my eyes, and think... it just feels so silly, so ridiculous, and so false somehow.

I know I could use it to push selling and making money. I probably should. But every time I read about how to, it feels so inauthentic and forced. I need to get over it.

I know I could use it to push my blog readers and subscribers(17 of them I think). But these posts never get many likes, and make me cringe a bit. I probably need to get over it. 

After scratching my head and feeling very blah about it all, I made a decision. I only post what I really like. When I feel like it. No scheduling. I hashtag lots sometimes, and not so much others. I delete sometimes. And I guess I may never ever get the followers I used to dream of. And I guess I am fine with that. Most of the time.

I want to enjoy being there, and not feel like it is a chore. I want to want to. Do you know what I mean? Maybe I am copping out? Maybe I am just running from working and pushing myself? What do you think?

And some days I will love it, and some days I will not so much. And some days I will scroll through and explore and comment lots, and other days I won't.

I will only post photos I really like and are happy with. Photos I have edited - but edited so that I like them, yes, me.

Having said that, if you want to follow me, do, click on this. If you want to tell the world to follow me, then do. If you want to come to one of my Instagram workshops and see how I edit, how I have fun doing a photo, and how to stay focussed on the fun bits then do...and click here. If you want to share this blog, then do. But if not... that's okay too. 

You know what I mean?! Or is it just me? How do you do feel about it all? For real? Tell me?

(and P.S INSTAGRAM I like the old logo better)

  

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